[.realizing.]
on saturday, february eighteenth, twothousandtwelve, i realized something. what made me come to this realization is beyond me, it just kinda hit me. i was in the bathroom, standing in front of the mirror just staring at myself and listening to boyce avenue’s cover of what makes you beautiful. and i was crying. and it was then that i realized this realization.
i realized that it is okay to struggle. it’s okay to doubt. it’s okay to have questions. it’s okay to be scared.
it’s okay to struggle, as long as i bring them to jesus. it’s okay to doubt as long as i am honest before jesus. it’s okay to have questions as long as i go to jesus for answers to those questions. and it’s okay that i am scared as long as i look to jesus for comfort, strength, and courage, instead of letting that fear turn me away.
i don’t know why i had just realized this that day. but i a glad that God brought it to my attention. i am not broken anymore. i need to stop believing that i am. i am not worthless, used, or cheap. i am worth it. i am fearfully and wonderfully made. and i am valued. it doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks. what matters is what God says about me. and that is what i am choosing to believe and focus on. and with that, i feel i am more free and rejuvenated than i have in a long time.
thank you lord for speaking to me. thank you for opening my eyes and heart to see. to see and know who i am in you. that matters more than anything.
